I want to look at you face to face. Gently touch your hair moving towards your face, hoping that you will hold my hand and kiss it. As I move my body closer to you, our bodies will touch and we’ll both feel the warmth of one another. I want to wrap my arms around your neck. Look at you once more, then look away because i’m shy when you look at my face for a long time. Then you will hold my chin and direct me to look at your face once more. Your eyes will meet mine and your gaze will move onto my lips. And ever so slowly, our lips will touch gently. Then i’ll playfully nibble yours and viceversa. To the point that we missed kissing each other so much that our toungue will slowly slide, meet, and interlock.
You will slowly lay me down on your bed. Still kissing because we missed each other so much. It’s like we haven’t seen each other for years. Then we’ll stop. Look at each other and smile. Hug one another and you’ll kiss my forehead. And i’ll fall asleep in your arms cause I haven’t had too much sleep this past few weeks.
I feel safe.
I feel warm.
I feel loved~
I don’t know why I even bother.
Some things are better off unsaid and be kept as a private matter to yourself. But there’s this feeling that you want to pour out all the thoughts that are bothering you so you either write it on a piece of paper or type it. What I did was make a private blog to be only viewed by me and no one else. I poured out my feelings of confusion, devastation, etc. And somewhat felt relieved that I had the chance to let it out.
Unfortunately, someone read the whole thing without my permission/consent. It’s as if I felt that I was totally violated. My thoughts and feelings were seen by a person who was not suppose to see it. For I knew that it would hurt him so I chose not to talk about it. But as they say, “curiosity killed the cat”. It was not meant for you to read it. But your curiousity took over and you did something that I will never forget. You chose to hurt yourself when you decided to read my private blog. I didn’t want you to get hurt but we know that it’s so like you to dig into people’s messages/private stuff.
If it’s about trust issues. You made me think that I shouldn’t give my full trust to people like I did to you. I trusted you with all I have and kept so little to myself. In the end, you have also come to know about my private blog. And now, I am left with nothing.